Newness

As I'm getting back into the swing of things slowly, I've had some time here and there to bounce around on other creatives blogs and have noticed a growing trend on the notion of time in this new year. Not having enough of it and not being as creative as you'd hope to be with it. I thought I'd reaffirm this as something we all shouldn't be afraid of (even though I find that sentence being repeated over and over in my head). Honestly thats life... we have babies, work full time at something else, and start up businesses that need the mainstay of our time, love and tenderness in turn moving us farther and farther away from our little creative passions that we began with. I can tell you that I am one of those who blame the birth of my daughter and that pesky full time design job that I need to make a living from... yes, I would love to be a full time artist/crafter but I think I would miss my roll as a designer in the publishing industry as well. and my daughter of course has been the best thing thats ever happened to me (besides my marriage) and It would be literally impossible to take her back! lol

For a while I sat thinking that I was the only one with these creative roadblocks and kept asking myself why everyone else is on their way to creative happiness and I wasn't. I realized that a lot of those people were kidless and had the opportunity to focus fully on their work from day to day.  I've grew to accept the fact that I am not that person and I never will be (well at least until Zoe is in college and on her own) so I have to do what I need to do at this point in my life and that is be a mother, a wife, and a designer first. I haven't decided what I will really do yet, I'm not sure if "time off" is necessary, maybe I'll get a new sketchbook and start small again and see where it takes me. At least I have the blog!

Reality check

It's moments like this that make me feel less guilty about leaving my studio alone for a year and a half to be a full time mommy. It's true, there are those times where I feel like I've let my creative intuition go in the fact that I'm not creating as much or I'm not blogging as much but I don't regret the things I've sacrificed in my creative life to have those moments with my daughter, to play peekaboo and act like a kid again...it's really the best inspiration you can have.
It's really important for me to dive right in to motherhood and give zoe everything she needs to enrich her life and become an excellent person. It's definitely been a trying year but I realized that this was my time to slow down and live my life for someone else for a change, and more importantly I learned that It's okay to set things aside for a bit and learn something new, experience different aspects of yourself you never knew you had. love it, live it.